20 Things I'd like to Say to Certain People

This is a tag I found interesting from one of the blogs I found while searching for reviews. It's 20 random things you wish you'd say to certain people but you just don't get to have the perfect moment for it. The blog I read had some nasty to sweet nothings in stored. Here's mine: 

1. Forgive me but I'm growing tired of waiting.
2. I wish you were here.
3. Grow up. 
4. You're not always right.
5. Just stop talking, can't you see we're not interested?
6. I don't know what I did for you to not like me.
7. I envy everything about you but I see you live a sad life.
8. Set yourself free.
9. I'm proud of you my friend.
10. You'll get there.
11. I hope we can get really close.
12. I'm sorry I judged you but my judgement stays intact.
13. You are not happy, I know so.
14. Maybe we'd pick up where we left off.
15. I don't feel our connection. AT ALL.
16. Thank you for everything, I just hope you didn't give me everything.
17. What if you never left?
18. I love you, but you give me all the headache.
19. We just clash when we're together.
20. I just miss you being my sister.

UPDATE!

Wow! I never thought I'd make another blog entry here after a long time. I thought I wouldn't find time to blog again since I'm loaded with gimiks and lazy person stuff. I also decided then that I'd blog in my Tumblr account instead but I didn't have the time to update it with full captions so 'lo! Stagnant blogs as it is.

Anyway, a lot has happened in the past few months. Duh? Wait a sec, I dunno about the last time I entered here so Imma just update from where I remember coz I'm too lazy to check my last blog post.

This may be random:

- I found a new job! I'm currently on my 4th month as a Copy Editor at Glad Tidings Publishing House Inc.
- I realized that I have a seeking heart in wanting to know about Jesus, our God and the Bible more and my workplace/mates are more than the perfect people and surrounding I need to develop a stronger faith in Him.
- I now have Ava! My car. A champagne-colored Toyota Avanza.
- I have been involved in a car accident but good thing was that noone was hurt and that the vehicle I bumped didn't freak out even if my vehicle was a little sorely damaged. All is well and Ava is fixed!
- My Dad is here and I am so happy we had a lot of bonding experience together this vacation of his. We were able to climb a mountain and run a marathon and earn a medal with that!


What else?

Ah, some news: Manny Pacquiao lost yet again and Davao is under a state of calamity with 1000 people or so are dead/missing due to Typhoon Pablo.

Let us pray for Philippines' fast recovery over all these trials.

Worst Nightmare

I had a dream last night. I can't remember in detail because I was comforted by the fact that it was not true right after I woke up.

The dream seemed so real. All I remember was listening to a woman's voice, it sounded like my boyfriend's sister. She was telling me my boyfriend's dead and how he died, using medical terms in between. I see myself only hearing her voice and the words but I couldn't actually contain what I felt. I was in denial because I knew that day that I just spoke to him sometime earlier and that we were just together the day before.  She was careful with the words she used, in some parts her voice cracked.  I can sense myself trying to respond but no words would come out. The feeling was like running out of breath, I was trying so hard to cry and scream but my eyes felt numb, tears wouldn't come out. My heart felt like it was being crushed right after my chest was ripped open. The feeling just felt so real. I didn't know what to do but run away and go nowhere. I was already imagining my boyfriend in the coffin convincing myself that it's all a dream. I was trying to wake myself up. Like really really convincing myself that it was just a dream.

Then I woke up and he was beside me sleeping soundly with arms around me. That made me catch my breath. I realized I was sweating. When I finally decided to yawn, I felt my teeth hurt, as if I bit something so hard. I guess I was really fighting over that dream.

All is well. Thank You Lord. I wouldn't know what I'd do if that really happened.

Whirlwind 2011

Whaddaya know? Just like every year.. there'll always be a lot of happenings..

On September, I officially ended my contract with my job as a Copywriter. It was a difficult decision to make but I just had to. Personal reasons and I figured I'd focus on earning my Masteral Degree at UP Online University.

My aunts abroad and my Dad spent a brief emergency leave as well because of my Gramma whom got confined in the ICU at St. Luke's Medical Center, Global City.  We were already preparing ourselves for the worst but Thank God, when my Gramma had the chance to see all her children, I believe it motivated her to fight and get well. As of now she's better, but needs all the assistance with the help of 2 caregivers. Thank you Lord for prolonging her life.

On November, I underwent the most life-changing decision I've ever made, and that is to have Lasik Eye Surgery. I never expected the procedure to last for only about 30mins. The Opthalmologist Dr. Salvador Sison was very accommodating that I wasn't that tensed during the procedure. It was pretty difficult at first with all the eye drop medications and stuff, but HEY! I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW!  No more glasses.

On December, my Dad came back for his real vacation and I'm happy to share that my parents were able to meet my boyfriend's siblings.. most of them.. and this was during a christening celebration of Steve's nephew Roan Carlo, the first nephew in the family.

Dec. 17, 2011 at Sir Boy's Food Republique
This is one of the happiest days in my life to date. ^_^

We spent Christmas at our home in Calamba and spent New Year's in Vigan.. my first time to spend New Year's on Steve's side.

T'was a good year, full of changes but they sure made me a better person from before.

Selfish Blog

RANDOM

I grew up in the Middle East. In a country called BAHRAIN. Moved there since I was 2years old.
I speak English when around my friends from Bahrain, especially those who grew up there like me.

I won 2nd place in an essay contest in Science in Grade 5. It was the only award I have received.

I am a LIBRA. I don't give a damn about the changing zodiacs. I want to stick to my original one.

I have kept planners and journals since elementary. I still read them once in a while to reminisce.

I have lived alone since 3rd year college. I never had a dorm mate. Like I said, I'm an introvert.
I used my friend's name as my first Blog Username: Lehcterg, it's Gretchel spelled backwards.

I can do the Indian accent, it's the easiest accent my friends and I do when we're together.
I don't like being too close to my superiors like my teachers, professors, and employers.
I flunked Filipino during Elementary and flunked Math during High School and College.

I still live alone now. My own apartment. Scary at times but you know, it's my Haven.

I love watching movies. Chickflicks, Adventure, Comedy and Action. Never Horror.

I later shifted to Mass Communications just so I could graduate and be done with it.

I used to sleep in my parents' room until High School. Even if I have my own room.

I am an only child. I had a sister once, but she died when I was 6 and she was 13.

I always liked writing stuff. Especially vandalizing blank papers with my signature.

I have six dogs as of now. I love hugging my dogs. It frees me from all the stress.
I was born on OCTOBER 20, 1987. That makes me 23 going on 24 this 2011.
I am an introvert. I always want time alone or just quiet time with my thoughts.
I started earning money only after college. I always depended on my parents.

I took up Medical Technology in college. I thought I wanted to be a Doctor.

I also used to thumb suck from my infancy until my early elementary.

I never learned how to be fluent in Arabic, the language in Bahrain.

I like glamorous stuff but my real persona is simple and laid back.

I walk fast. I dunno why, but I do. My dad walks faster anyway.

I started blogging since early college in the site called Xanga.
I used to bite my nails since elementary to early college.
I stopped thumb sucking when I was in Grade 3.
I only cook when there's a recipe I can follow.

I stopped nail biting around 3rd year college.

I read books when I don't write.

3rd Blog of 2011

For my 3rd blog, I'm gonna post my 3 Things in 3 Categories:

Things I Can't Live Without

- Eyeglasses or Contacts (duh)

- Clothes (duh)

- A little Money. (hahaha! it could go a looong way y'know!)

What I Want to Achieve this Year

- A weight of 118lbs.

- 2years in my current job.

- Get a non-pro Driver's License! (this goal has been 5yrs in the making)

Places I want to go to this Year:

- Mt. Pulag or any mountain that's famous for mountaineers!

- Corregidor (yeah, i want 'em haunting times!)

- Davao (if my work permits me to join the CEAP this year, i'd be going to Davao. Yay!)

Miss Independent

After my College Dorm Independence and my After Grad Life...

I'm Miss Independent once again... the "struggling young adult" stage.

-Moved to a new place all for myself.

*closer to work

*more privacy

*my OWN rules!

-Signed my regularization contract at work.

*Fairly satisfied with the rate they gave me. No Worries. ^_^

Everything's going smoothly. Thank you Lord.

What's next on my list of goals?

HIGH PRIORITY:

-Enroll in a DRIVING SCHOOL next month! SEPTEMBER 2010

-Get a part time job. A job that could pay my bills and make me save my paychecks.

*oDESK etc.

MEDIUM PRIORITY:

-Study again.

*Grad Course?

*Career Service Professional?

*Short Course?

-My long awaited CAR!!!

*Toyota Vios?

*Honda City?

*Kia Picanto?

*Suzuki Celerio?

Get Stable then Settle Down

So, the long wait is over. After like, 4years abroad, Steve's sister's boyfriend finally decides to stay here in the Philippines for good. They're getting married this October! Finally and Yehey! Apparently, she's the last sister to get married. Out of the 4sisters. She's the youngest of the sisters too, Ate Ann, but she's 31yrs old. Funny how all Steve's siblings got married past the age of 30. That leaves Steve and his other brother, Kuya JR, 30, the one before him, unmarried out of them 7siblings.




I expect the family to persuade the brother to be the next one to get married... but No... it's US. That's because they don't see any stable plans Kuya JR is doing, and his girlfriend of 5years just graduated from MedSchool this year. So there's totally NO plans of settling down any time sooner.

As for me and Steve, we got plans for ourselves too yah know! For Steve, he needs to get his van fixed. He's striving to get it overhauled before this year or mid-next year ends. Then he said he needs to save up for a house or atleast a place we can live in when we settle down.

For me, I just wanna see our house in Laguna all complete and cozy. Then a car, a place to live in Manila, near my workplace. Then save up for another degree. I can take up the degree even if I'm married anyway. Well, those are my plans so far.

First things first... I wanna live my SINGLEDOM to the FULLEST! Maybe settle down when im around 26yrsold at the least. I also don't want to keep my hopes up that it's really Steve im gonna end up with. We'll never know. If we manage to keep our relationship on fire until then, then maybe he is the one. If not, i'd still be grateful.

I even think I wanna be Really SINGLE before i say "i do"... but i guess Steve won't approve of that. It'll just convince him that I wanna be in another relationship even if I just want to be called SINGLE for a while. SHEESH, boys. lol. They can be pretty possessive too yah know. oh well.

New Year's Blab

Just when the year has to end... my mom reveals herself once again... final motivation for me to pursue a career far from her. Far from everyone else who dare tries to put me down.

Again, there's FEAR. Ahhh, the lovely smell of FEAR... what can i say? I've surpassed FEAR quite a few times and still it never loses its touch in overcoming me when I'm actually in need of strength. Just like the other times, I won't let FEAR interFEAR my future plans. All I need is plans B-Z if ever my plan A doesn't work out. So HELP ME GOD!

Plan A- Submit application as Cabin Crew to Emirates Airlines. I have complete requirements except for the photos. As soon as I get back to Manila, I need to have my photos taken. Then wait for a call until February.

Plan B- If ever the company I work for rehires me as a probationary, I'll go on with it. By May, I'll apply for a Master's Degree in UST.

Plan C- Have as much overtime at work as I can to double my pay.

However, here are my planned girly routines for next year.

1. Weekly Mani/Pedi
2. Once or Twice a month shopping spree.
3. Atleast one movie date with my BF.
4. A catch up date with a friend/s.
5. Try something new be it a place to eat, a hang out, fashion style, habit, hobby etc.
6. Jog/Run atleast 5times a month to maintain physique.

Those are the plans for now. Hope I can pursue them.

GOODLUCK TO ME!

Aloneville, Emode City

How does it feel to have brothers and sisters?
How does it feel to be close with your cousins?
How does it feel to have friends you can run to and call on at anytime of the day?

I had a sister once... yeah.. once... for a brief period of time. I don't even remember much about being with her. She passed away even before I can actually remember in detail. The only memory I have of her was the time my mom and I came to visit her at our relative's house, she was beaming with open arms and excited to approach me, I was the same. That's all, one brief moment.

I've been very close with a first cousin of mine back in the days, that was before we hit our adolescence. Even if we only spent a month every single year because i had to live and study abroad with my parents, we'd always get along and catch up every time my family comes back for vacation. Until one time, we were in our early teens, we both became shy to approach each other. Never knew the reason why.

I had a best friend once, the kind of person I treated as the sister I never had. Almost like my better half. She would always sleep over at our house, even during weekdays especially when her mom's out of the country. When we're not together, we'd always call each other. We'd even dress alike most of the time. We did everything together. It's just sad that our friendship faded after some series of events that kind of involved boys, moms and other friends.

The friends I have now are not as intact as they were. We don't revolve around the same routine nor the same lifestyle as I did with my best friend before.

I'm in a relationship right now but we don't see each other that often as much like how we did before. Everything's been busy between us. I've always asked myself, IS THIS HOW LIFE REALLY IS? AM I BLIND TO SEE WHAT'S REALLY THERE IN FRONT OF ME OR THIS IS JUST THE SAD REALITY I HAVE TO ACCEPT?

Message to my MoM

I know it's hard to accept losing a child after 13years of taking care of her, but please don't blame anyone for her death especially if you know that she died due to natural causes like aneurysm or some other unknown diseases. You're not the only one who lost her, I lost a sister too. Others lost their cousin and friend. It could be possible that we don't hurt the way you do but at least try to accept that she'll forever be in your heart watching over you. Waiting for you to look into the future without wanting revenge against the people you blame her death for. You'll never achieve your true happiness unless you accept the fact that she's not present anymore. It's been 16years... she would love it if you moved on... Enough suffering... Forgive, Accept and Move On... It won't be long until you're together again but make sure to live your life to the fullest while you're still alive. Make your life worth living.

Life's Ups and Downs

It truly is hard to survive through life's trials, but once you overcome those experiences, you become stronger and more confident... but the worst thing it can do to you is make you numb... Make you heartless and even vengeful.

We always use the excuse that we are only humans... We are expected to make mistakes which also means we are expected to make up for them. The world offers endless possibilities to make up for our mistakes, as long as we're still alive. Let's not lose that chance to change. Change for the BETTER...